the randumbot

joking around

2009-10-30T15:26:00.000-07:00

It seems Halloween comes early for Mickey Rourke. The actor wore what he considers to be "The Joker" costume out clubbin' Thursday night. I guess his bro didn't get the memo.

He looks more like "The Coker." And what's up with the porn stash, and Miami Vice blazer? Somehow this is a costume that just works for him.

rolling back prices and standards

2009-09-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

Top to bottom: The Muppet Hooker, Mr. Forgotmypants, The Walmart Pimp, and Roz from Monsters Inc.
Like I really needed another reason not to shop at Walmart. The next time you are bored and need a good laugh, visit the site that will not disappoint. peopleofwalmart.com

don't try this at home

2009-09-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

A Plus-Size shout out to Broughty from Edmonds for this lil' nugget. It has inspired me to create a whole new category for video posts.

saving face

2009-07-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd give you some much needed face time with one of my favorite celebrities. Anybody else remember a little movie called Diner? That was my favorite Rourke movie--back in the day when he actually looked handsome. For those of you who have not just eaten, please to enjoy this slideshow of horror.

robo-booty

2009-07-23T13:06:00.000-07:00

There's gold in them thar warehouses! Recently in Japan a whole mess of robots that had been wrapped, stored, and forgotten about were finally exhumed. These robots were designed by Jiro Aizawa in the 1950's and 1960's. While some of these are still working or have working parts, those which are not working will most likely be restored. I'll be sure to keep you posted on new info that surfaces about these treasures.

dance machine

2009-07-07T16:02:00.000-07:00

Rad t-shirt design by Cameron McEwan. Heart breaking irony. This is just one of many shirts and art prints you can find at Threadless which is an online store that's a whole lot more.

smells like teen spirit

2009-06-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

Lorraine Peterson, I salute you! If I ever write a book, I only hope I can conjure up a name for it with the notoriously faithful charm that you are so gifted with. Your talent is spiritual gold. Pictured above is just one example from the most awesomely titled teen devotional book series ever. Other titles by this author include:

If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?

If The Devil "Made" You Do It...You Blew It! (But It Doesn't Need To Happen Again)

Radical Advice From The Ultimate Wiseguy

How To Get A Life...No Strings Attached

Lord, I Haven't Talked To You Since The Last Crisis, But...

Trying to Get Toothpaste Back into the Tube: Making Choices You Don't Have to Undo

Falling Off Cloud Nine and Other High Places

Dying of Embarrassment--& Living to Tell About It

If You Really Trust Me, Why Can't I Stay Out Later?

Why Isn't God Giving Cash Prizes?

God's An Artist And You're A Masterpiece: The Mind-boggling Science Of An Awesome Creator

sign language

2009-06-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

I can't figure out what this is a sign for.
I feel like it's warning me about something...even though warning signs would usually be in yellow or red. Obviously the person is running, but why? Is that supposed to be a door, or a box? I think this is a sign warning you that you are about to run into a sign that leaves you feeling blank.

word up

2009-06-02T11:21:00.001-07:00

Ever wish you could bust out some street lingo at the appropriate time but are a little too "Pottery Barn" to pull it off?

Slang Flashcards from KnockKnock use old-fashioned teaching techniques to bring you up to speed. $15 for 60 huge double-sided cards. Study alone or with a friend--then get a load of your bad self!

I recently gave these to a buddy of mine for his birthday and I am proud to report that after only a few weeks his mad skillz are off-the-hook.

earth lovin' robots

2009-05-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

"Andybots" and "Saucerbots" are just some of the adorably eclectic creations by artist Andy Hill. And good news for all you Eco-friendly Robophiles out there who are trying to save the planet one reusable bag at a time--Andy uses a ton of recyclable materials in his sculptures!

Some of the sculptures even reuse CDs/DVDs.

You can see all of Andy Hill's designs and creations at Electro Art Works.

what's next for Mickey Rourke?

2009-05-28T14:49:00.001-07:00

Mickey Rourke will be playing the part of The Joker in the next Batman movie. Just kidding.

schemin'

2009-05-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

"Micro Schematic" by artist Jason Freeny. Illustrated diagram of LEGO minifig in wifebeater and thong.

getting down to specifics

2009-05-28T12:12:00.000-07:00

I love yard sale season! 1/8 block?? I'm guessing I could probably spot the yard filled with ~~junk~~ collectibles an 1/8 of a block away. That's like 2 houses down, right?

is it a crime of fashion?

2009-05-15T14:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes ugly ideas lead to ugly crimes!

Thanks to Tex Spevjo from the Renton Riviera, you can click here to see what some halfwit did with a Snuggie.

the cult of snacking

2009-05-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

I spend many a night watching t.v. and I have no shame about it. There are particular shows I have a moderate obsession with and would hate to miss. I will often curl up on the couch with a blanket if I am chilly, perhaps a snack if I ~~have the munchies~~ am feeling peckish. This has been the comfortable norm in my home for years and years...and then the Snuggie was invented.. and then my head exploded.

My friend tried to explain it carefully to me as if I were mentally challenged, "Instead of being limited to just a blanket for snuggling up, the Snuggie is like wearing a blanket for clothes!" I told her of my many adventures of using a blanket for a blanket and clothes for clothes, and then my eyes rolled so hard I almost fell over. She went on, "Also, it's a blanket that allows you to enjoy a snack!" After she finished this sentence, we just blinked back at each other for a couple seconds while we digested the stupidity of what was just said. I think I heard a dog bark somewhere off in the distance. She was right though. Being able to enjoy a snack is one of the couple of benefits to using a Snuggie. Seen here is a monk enjoying the Superbowl.

Call me old-fashioned, but I have always found that when I use a blanket for a blanket and clothes for clothes instead of a Snuggie, I can do plenty of other things besides enjoy a snack on the couch such as:

Enjoy a snack on a plane
Make a mad bolt to the bathroom if ferocious diarrhea is involved
Enjoy a movie at a theater without strangers and kids giving me the stinkeye
Get laid

I just think Snuggies are ugly. It's so amorphous looking as if to hide the couch potato look on purpose, they should have just called it a 'Shame Sack' or something elegant like that. They sort of remind me of pictures I've seen of people in cults or better yet...

Who knew Spock was a snuggler?

everything must go

2009-05-14T18:00:00.000-07:00

For those of you who need a little more drama with your rummaging, it looks like the housewives of Wisteria Lane are having a garage sale!

happy easter

2009-04-12T13:09:00.000-07:00

ENJOY THE PEEP SHOW!

spring break for the Gothopotomi

2009-04-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

Once again spring break is here and, while most teens and young adults are on tropical vacations or shakin' their bootys at Mtv, what about the adolescent Gothopotomus crowd? Are they partaking in the hedonistic holiday the same as their more spunky lithe classmates? Are they working on their tans? I think not. After several attempts at interviewing my neighbor's son ~~Scott~~ "Charrlord" I finally lured him out with the promise of a McRib sandwich. Charrlord says that the sun "frightens the soul" and makes his bangs kink back up so he spends his break...wait for it..."in the basement" adding that sometimes his folks send him to spend spring break in his Uncle's basement.

Maria Salducci from Port Hueneme, Ca sent in this photo of her daughter Eve. "She's a very bright girl, she just won't stop wearing black is all," writes Maria.

She goes on to explain that her daughter usually spends her break at the local Mall shopping for things to pierce herself with. "At least she doesn't stay down in the basement all the damn time like some of her friends!"

Update: Things turned ugly real quick when Charrlord discovered that his promised McRib was just a ruse. I'm back home now and, although my arm still stings from the massive tetanus shot, the bite marks have almost totally healed.

stress relief

2009-04-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

Just in case you are having a rough day,
here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest
psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your
belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling
in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air
with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily
make out the face of the person you are holding
underwater.

raining cats and blogs

2009-04-03T17:15:00.000-07:00

This is what I imagine other people imagine cats in Seattle look like.

what time is it?

2009-03-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

1. A time or selected period during which a defecation occurs.

2. To "go poopy-time" is to have a poopy-time.

"I need to go poopy-time "

"That was a good poopy-time "

And if that wasn't gross enough, there's always the competitor:

meet 'The Tailor'

2009-03-10T14:01:00.000-07:00

In all it's engrish splendor, the horror has gone global

PLEASE TO CLICK HERE!

freezer burn

2009-03-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

Ben & Jerry's just created "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for President Obama.
They then asked people to fill in the blank: For George W. they created "_________".
Here are some of their favorite responses:
Grape Depression
Cluster Fudge
Nut'n Accomplished
Iraqi Road
WireTapioca
Impeach Cobbler
imPeachmint
Good Riddance You Lousy Mthrf..k..r... Swirl
Neocon Politan
RockyRoad to Fascism
The Reese's-cession
Cookie D'oh!
The Housing Crunch
Death by Chocolate... and Torture
Chunky Monkey in Chief
George Bush Doesn't Care About Dark Chocolate
Caramel Preemptive Stripe
I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands...with nuts

Veni, Vidi, Vomito!

2009-02-27T15:48:00.000-08:00

I usually joke with friends about The Olive Garden and make fun of their shiteous take on Italian food by saying "Why go to The Olive Garden and pay them to feed you microwaved pasta when you can do it for free at home?" Seriously, I'll even put it in an SAT equation for y'all:

The Olive Garden : authentic Italian cooking :: Super Mario Bros. : the everyday life of a plumber.

Well, the other day I was pleased to see proof that I am not alone in this culinary disgust I have for TOG. This was featured in the best free newspaper on the planet, The Stranger.

not so fascinating rhythms

2009-02-17T14:52:00.000-08:00

I recently was at a party and noticed this book of sheet music on the piano. I immediately felt compelled to open up this bad boy and see what was so 'upbeat' about it. Here is what I found:

Cantina Band John Williams
Theme From New York, New York Fred Ebb, John Kander
Fame Dean Pitchford, Michael Gore
Talk To The Animals Leslie Bricusse
Once Upon A December Lynn Ahrens, Stephen Flaherty
Fascinating Rhythm George Gershwin, Ira Gershwin
Jetsons Main Theme Joseph Barbera, William Hanna,
Scooby Doo Background Music Joseph Barbera, William Hanna,

Uh...besides the last track, what does Scooby-Doo have to do with any of these? And I can just picture living in a house with someone who wants to keep playing the background music to Scooby-Doo as a soundtrack to everything you do like cleaning the gutters, scrubbing the toilet, watching the presidential inauguration, etc.

This sheet music is obviously in the same bizarrely out of touch family as the first one. What better choice to represent a book of "Modern Songs" than a cartoon character from 1948!

go ahead, laugh long and hard

2009-02-17T14:27:00.000-08:00

never never again land

2009-01-27T13:58:00.000-08:00

Let me just start by saying, from the neck up--gorgeous. However, from the neck down I can't quite figure out if Madge is wearing a Peter Pan costume or an Oscar The Grouch pelt.

or what?

2009-01-27T13:09:00.000-08:00

How does one harass the jellyfish anyhow??

gone to the dogs

2009-01-27T12:37:00.000-08:00

Mickey Rourke's career is going nuts!

adopt-a-threat

2009-01-09T17:33:00.000-08:00

Janine from Greeley, Co sent in this photo attached to a letter in which she writes: "My husband and I thought that adopting a Gothopotomus from the local humane shelter was an admirable thing to do. Let me tell you our lives have never been the same! Larz was rescued from a life of gang violence which had hardened his soul. His temperament is an unpredictable mix of sloth-like lethargy and manic combativeness. It makes it hard to form a bond with him. We mostly try to keep him in the basement since he trashes the house every time we let him up. Lately he has taken to posting obscenely doctored photos on the Internet and has been seen around the neighborhood with the local Gothopotomus gang The Morbidly Obese. I have vowed to get a dog next time."

sweater from hell

2009-01-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

So Satan sent me a letter the other day and this photo was attached. Seen here is Satan's cat "Andie" being coddled by it's nanny on a recent peyote-fueled spirit walk in Taos, New Mexico. Apparently this new-agey positive energy sweater is the latest in Bad Cat Fashion. With the drawstring bottom it's basically a sack with a hood, which ensures that your kitty won't run off when it begins hallucinating.

8-bit mural

2009-01-02T17:08:00.000-08:00

For the video game nerds who decide to start families, Blik and Nintendo offer a wall graphics pack with familiar scenes for the modern kid's room. $75 for 36 reusable wall decals. And, yes, it comes in Donkey Kong too.

Jimmy Wales is psychic!

2009-01-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

Wanna see something really ridiculous?

Then click on this

I mean, honestly, who would need to google this......besides me...and the robots?

all I want for Christmas is....earplugs

2008-12-23T13:42:00.000-08:00

Now I know what the taste of barf sounds like.

Santa loves Hot Pockets

2008-12-23T12:02:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Tim in Maple Leaf for this gem! The first time I watched it, I swear it made my computer smell like burned popcorn.

Wee-Wee Wish You A Merry Christmas

2008-12-19T12:59:00.000-08:00

Another weird baby product just in time for the holidays! This is a cute way of dealing with an awkward situation, except that instead of magically transporting the pee to the north pole, your baby will just end up getting himself all wet!

Word to your Grandmother!

2008-12-19T12:21:00.000-08:00

This is the dopest choir in the universe. Things really get jiggy around the 4:07 mark.

Secret Santa Can Suck It!

2008-12-11T11:59:00.000-08:00

Over at Humor Bloggers there's a gift swap happenin' and my Secret Santa recipient is none other than http://debbiedoesdrivel.blogspot.com/. So, Debbie, what I've gotten you for Christmas this year is a Gothopotomus! This one is a late adolescent male so be tender with him.

Generally Gothopotomi like to hang around in a cold, dark basement--often alone, emerging only to feed. With the proper TLC they can mature into rather loving adults. I was recently on a trip to Crackistan where I visited the Cracknational Zoo and got a prime photo opportunity:

Here, as you can see, are a Gothopotomus adult couple. They are often satisfied sitting around on the cold, hard concrete smoking cloves. Contrary to popular belief, they can be a quite sociable species when surrounded by others like them. So Merry Christmas Debbie at http://debbiedoesdrivel.blogspot.com/! Put on some Cure, and enjoy your new pet!

the doghouse

2008-12-10T11:33:00.000-08:00

runway the wrong way

2008-12-05T14:24:00.000-08:00

This look obviously went over well on the catwalk...not. It's hard to tell if he's just escaped from an asylum, or an airplane with a faulty parachute. Either way I still don't get why he needs a pair of Ray Bans and an Amish beard to pull this look together.

disturbear

2008-12-05T14:16:00.000-08:00

This doll creeps me out. I find I don't really want to refer to it as a teddy bear, because I'm not entirely sure that it is one. It has a belly button and skin tone. I wonder what PETA would think of this doll. I've been watching all episodes of Arrested Development in order and couldn't help but think of Tobias and his term "Nevernude."

dollar menu inflation

2008-12-05T14:03:00.000-08:00

the skillz to pay the billz

2008-11-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

1989. Wendy's. Employee training video...from hell.

And here's PART 2

CCP

2008-11-20T14:12:00.000-08:00

And now a word about what is seen on the "catwalks" of life's most hideous runway: Bad Cat Fashion. BCF is the preferred clothing trends of Crazy Cat Ladies (CCL). But what about the men, you ask? There must be Crazy Cat Men (CCM) alive and well co-existing in craziness. Perhaps it is time to speak of this sub-culture in terms of Crazy Cat People (CCP). The CCP of today are a progressive community which does not tuck their tails between their legs at gender biases! Please to enjoy...

sticky sweet

2008-11-20T14:05:00.000-08:00

I didn't even know that you could get jam from a bean...but that's besides the point.

it costs extra to smile

2008-11-20T13:51:00.000-08:00

think pink!

2008-11-20T13:44:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Miss Stapleton in Seattle for sending this in. This is the cutest Breast Cancer Awareness ad I've ever seen!

a funny way to raise money

2008-11-20T13:25:00.000-08:00

What's freakier than clowns? Naked ones! In an effort to help raise money for MS, you can purchase a 2009 calendar featuring photos of clowns in the buff. Strange concept connection, but raising money to support research for a disease which still has no cure is always worthwhile. Check out http://www.nakedclowncalendar.com/ for more info.

douchebag phone message

2008-11-14T15:52:00.000-08:00

LEGO-rific!

2008-10-31T14:26:00.000-07:00

I thought it was only fair to show the flip side of the LEGO obsession. Instead of making fun of how minifigs are designed to look--here are rebellious humans attempting to dress up like LEGO minifigs.

I love the "deer in the headlights" dude in the background! There's even a D above his head. Diversion, Disruptive, Dodging, Dork...

I think dressing up as a LEGO minifig is a great way to get out of having to talk for the evening, and to look cool doing it.

Dressing up as a LEGO, however, is not cool and might get your ass kicked after school.

costumes that will get you noticed...by the cops

2008-10-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

Strangely enough these costumes are not friendly fire but are in fact zombie android pot leaves sent out on the streets by the government in hopes of luring in naive hippies. The government also wants you to know that you can't get high from smoking these costumes.

This picture was actually taken sometime in August.

My personal feelings are: 1) This costume should be illegal in most states. 2) You should get some sort of ticket for wearing this. 3) There is most likely something fundamentally crazy about the people who want to wear this.

don't dress your baby up as...

2008-10-31T12:22:00.000-07:00

Remember the platters of "babies as food?" Here's another delicacy I thought I'd warn you all about...

The poor little tyke looks really uncomfortable being squished into that copper pot that's being hauled over to the stove...what ever happened to parents dressing their baby up as a cute lobster that isn't about to be eaten?

I swear I had this same pair of legwarmers in 1984! Parents don't dress your baby up as a legwarmer...ever.

I don't even know what this is. A mail carrier from the Himalayas? Part of a Siegfried & Roy act?

the lowest budget in the world

2008-10-15T15:58:00.000-07:00

Just where does one draw the line between Martian and Robot? Apparently some do not draw a line. I know this was truly meant to be an enticing album cover, but a few extra bucks put into props might have been a nice touch. If there are Martians out there it seems unlikely that they would need huge metal helmets with no face protection. This looks like somebody got their Aunt Hazel with her Noxzema face mask to pose in a broken air conditioning vent.

digital stimulation

2008-10-15T15:31:00.000-07:00

So I'm not crazy about the design for this alarm clock. The way the cat is turned makes it seem like the window reading the time is located in it's "kitty zone." I wonder where the snooze button is? Never mind, I really don't want to know. Purrhaps this cat is just high on catnip--the time in the photo does read accordingly.

the old switcheroo

2008-10-15T15:15:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world of ManBabies.com! It's a photoblog that is a lot like that movie Freaky Friday...only freakier. The heads of men and their babies are swapped in the name of good fun and mediocre Photoshop skills.

This one flat-out makes me uncomfortable in a very real way.

baby with all the trimmings

2008-10-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

Just a reminder to all parents out there that Halloween is coming. This is one of the most tasteless costumes I've ever seen for an infant. It's not at all the same thing as dressing your baby up as a lobster--this is dressing your baby up as a plate of lobster and garnish to be served as if to be eaten! Alternately, it looks like a plate of lobster giving birth to a human infant. Either way, it's enough to make Anne Geddes throw up a little in her mouth.

Oh, yeah...Thanksgiving is on it's way too.

well hung

2008-10-10T15:55:00.000-07:00

What was this company thinking when they made this? I don't know if I could hang something on these without getting goosebumps. It actually says "Hug Me" at the top of the package!

LEGO no you di-in't!

2008-10-10T14:38:00.001-07:00

"who's bad?" This reenactment of The King of Pop is pretty bad! For starters, the last time Michael Jackson had freckles, he had his original nose to display them on and we all know how long ago that was. They gave him fringey bangs and a cute little grin--hmm, he almost looks like a young boy. Ewww. On a positive note I thought the one white hand was a nice touch, and it's fitting to see Michael constructed out of plastic--art imitating life, no?

Where to begin? I get that it's tough to transcend the skintight pants look to minifig but why did they have to dress up Prince like Colonel Sanders? The head alone bears absolutely no resemblence to Prince. It sorta makes him look like a lesser character from the movie Tombstone. Kudos to using a comparison photo that shows the real Prince with totally different hair and clothing!

be my Penny Lane

2008-10-10T13:50:00.000-07:00

This is just a reminder in case you hadn't noticed the "Follower" feature here at The Randumbot. If you browse off to the right you'll see all kinds of cool stuff, but the coolest of all is the chance to follow this blog. You can show your fanaticism by becoming a groupie and clicking on the "Follow This Blog" link. If you are shy, you can stay anonymous. If you like to wave a lighter back and forth over your head while you read, then that's cool too. Following helps attract more readers to The Randumbot and brings in more traffic and love. So help spread the love and become a groupie. Besides, all the cool kids are doing it.

LEGO my identity

2008-09-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, so as cool as this is, I think the mark was missed a little. I'm all for capturing the face of a celebrity in LEGO form, but Louisa May Alcott is not the first name that comes to mind when I think celebrity. Besides, that looks an awful lot like LEGO Princess Leia who is shown here in her Imperial Members Only jacket. You cannot fool the Force.

Next we have the obvious choice for celebrity LEGOism: Elvis! The problem that I'm having with this design is that he looks a lot more like Johnny Cash on crystal meth.

riddle me this

2008-09-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

For those of you who didn't know, the world of LEGO has transcended to video games and Hollywood. The latest video game from LEGO is Batman, and it is just as adorable as the Indiana Jones, and STAR WARS games before it. LEGO has even gone as far as commemorating entertainment figures in true plastic form to celebrate their 30 year anniversary.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and their entourage.

The highly talented and curvaceous Amy Winehouse (they couldn't make a little LEGO crackpipe?)

babe in the city

2008-09-16T16:01:00.000-07:00

Multifunctional chair concept. Sleek, modern design. Looks like a cured pig.
As cool of an idea this is for furniture, I can't help but think of pork. A stack of Bologna, Chinese BBQ pork, a Luau pig sans the apple...

records from around the world

2008-09-16T15:31:00.000-07:00

I love strange and horrible album covers; even more so if they have really primitive stereotyped robot depictions!

Apparently most of the world makes their robots out of spare washing machine parts.

simply put

2008-09-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

Saw this on CWC and it just made my morning.

life on the street

2008-09-12T16:32:00.000-07:00

I admit, I am a puppet enthusiast, but this is just odd. If you've ever wanted a glimpse into Elmo's secret life outside of Sesame Street, then behold The Streets Of Sesame--a photo stream by Mark Sebastian (flickr). A quite candid look at the home life of a popular Muppet.

city slicker

2008-09-12T15:48:00.000-07:00

Valentine, Nebraska. Pop: 2,650. Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind — sometimes his groin, sometimes both — on windows. Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects. During one particularly brazen session, virtually all the windows at a local hotel were imprinted. Police Chief Ben McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.
The man was 6-feet-tall or slightly taller, and slender. He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look." Uh, the hair on his head, right?

candyland

2008-09-12T15:21:00.000-07:00

The young owner of a chocolate shop in Berlin was arrested for selling drugs, as well as drug-laced candies and confections to the public. Police confiscated 120 pieces of magic mushroom chocolate, 70 sachets filled with assorted drugs, 20 joints, jars of drug-laced honey, and tons of lollipops made with cannabis. Hmmm...sugar and hallucinogens...reminds me of a game I used to play years ago...

worry-free pet

2008-09-05T16:20:00.000-07:00

For those of you who love the idea of having a pet but in reality can barely take care of yourself on a daily basis: Koi Toy light up plastic goldfish with LED and 40 hour battery will float and look fairly realistic from across the room...until it starts glowing color-changing light. $11 from ZGallerie.

tot on the lot

2008-09-05T16:12:00.000-07:00

What's it gonna take to get your baby into this streamlined onesie? This is a great design if you are trying to prep your kid to be a used car salesman. Gives new meaning to the term "fully loaded package!"

moist towelette

2008-09-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

This was just too strange to pass up. If you've ever wished you could somehow magically catch your farts in a sticker then this is the product for you! Here are the actual written directions and suggestions:

Directions
Peel off adhesive and stick Subtle Butt onto the inside of your underwear or pants, exactly where you think it goes.
Go for it, Let'er rip, Have at it, Cut loose, Break wind, Gas it up
When you're done wearing Subtle Butt, remove and discard. If any adhesive traces remain, use a damp cloth for removal.
Tips for Success:
You want all the gas to pass through Subtle Butt. So do what you need to do to ensure none sneaks around the edges.
Subtle Butt can be applied to thongs by wrapping and securing it around the back.

the "T" is for towel

2008-08-12T15:44:00.000-07:00

The other day I was thinking my home lacked a certain...something. Now I know what it is; I don't own any towels with mod art prints of Mr. T! I am surely the fool to pity.

they keep rolling...and rolling...

2008-08-12T15:18:00.000-07:00

At first I thought this was a picture of the well-known geriatric rock band The Rolling Stones, but upon closer inspection I realize I was way off. It's actually a candid photo of (L to R) some lesbian couple, the Count from Sesame Street, and Detective Lieutenant Columbo after a long night of club hopping.

high stakes table

2008-08-12T14:58:00.000-07:00

Very often I have faithful subscribers send in stuff they wish I'd post here. In fact, it's difficult sometimes to meander through the hundreds of emails I receive and get to deciding on which ones to post! I couldn't pass this one up though. Thanks to Heather in Seattle for her contribution.

trigger happy

2008-08-07T10:48:00.000-07:00

Cool vintagey-looking batman squirt gun. Bad design concept. With the trigger in his "bat zone" and the refiller plug up his....cape...I have to wonder if this toy was really designed for kids or for adults.

birth control

2008-08-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

Why is there so much weird baby stuff in the world? Why? These are bouncy balls that cry like a baby when they hit something. I can't really imagine anyone putting up with this toy for more than a couple of bounces. A real baby crying is an aggravating enough sound naturally. Here's an idea: give these to teens for a week so they can decide if they are really ready to be parents. Around $4 from Baron Bob.

fungus among us

2008-08-06T11:40:00.000-07:00

This is pretty much the strangest thing I've seen before in the world of knitting crafts. 7" long from Plush You a hand sewn finger with fungus growing under the nail. As you can see all too well, the nail peels back to reveal little fungus monsters--one of them is outfitted with a knitted cap! Adorable! I can just picture a little baby teething on one of these in church.

bored much?

2008-08-05T15:44:00.000-07:00

Maybe disinterest is the new black? Paris Hilton looks downright bored to death to be photographed for this cover! Since when is boring sexy?

remember troll dolls?

2008-08-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

Mary Kate Trollson can't even force a smile wearing her own designer dress! Maybe that's because it looks like it's made out of wax paper. I love that off to the right, the cover tells you "Don't Get High, Get Happy!"

no sudden movements

2008-08-05T15:33:00.000-07:00

Somebody went and frightened the model and now she won't even turn around to be photographed!

pray for another cover

2008-08-05T15:22:00.000-07:00

Not only is this cover unflattering, but it also looks nothing like Charlotte Church. Last time I fact-checked she was Welsh not Latino!

scary movie

2008-08-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

The Shining was one of the scariest things I had ever seen...until I saw this magazine cover! Don't even think of messing with her sequins batsuit!

the party's off!

2008-08-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

This pic looks more like she's already been partying...for a while. She looks like a Barbie doll with a hangover!

albatross

2008-08-05T14:54:00.000-07:00

She has a look on her face that says, "I hope I don't honk up my lunch on this designer gown!"

the P word

2008-08-05T14:30:00.000-07:00

One word comes to mind: PEEVED. She really looks peeved that her picture is being taken.

the pre-shoot

2008-08-05T14:16:00.001-07:00

That's a serious scowl! It looks like the hair stylist never touched her! In fact, this looks like a picture of the model before the shoot started.

no flair

2008-08-05T13:55:00.000-07:00

So, since I kept finding these horrid magazine covers all over the place (the internet), I felt compelled to blog an entire category about it. I can appreciate a serious face, but for the kind of money a woman gets paid for being on the cover of a magazine--they ought to at least look happy to be making serious $$. I don't think it's a matter of trend, but more likely the photog or makeup artist missed the mark. It's upsetting to look at a beautiful face who looks downright pissed to be wearing million dollar jewelry and famous duds. Most photo shoots will end up with hundreds of shots to choose from--you'd think they'd pick one that was actually flattering!

bag O' bones

2008-08-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Skeleton in a potato sack. Not letting the spray tanner hit her feet was a nice touch to the overall 'Death By Burlap' look. Did somebody just drop her off at a YMCA softball game at a park or something? Nothing says high fashion like being photographed on dead grass!

24 carrot gold

2008-08-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered what you'd get if Bugs Bunny made it with The Mad Hatter? I bet in the hot summer heat this fugly frock just ends up smelling like cole slaw.

rugrats

2008-07-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

So your baby can't grow hair--no problem! Outfit the little tyke with one of these designer rugs from Baby Toupee! For about $22 your baby can have A-list locks in the likes of Samuel L. Jackson, Bob Marley, or even (and I'm not sure why) Donald Trump.

exhibit-R

2008-07-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

Robots: A Designer's Collection of Miniature Mechanical Marvels May 16, 2008 - October 26, 2008 in Seattle Pulsar Lounge GalleryRobots: A Designer's Collection of Miniature Mechanical Marvels celebrates our long fascination with humankind's technological version of itself. This exhibition draws from a one-of-a-kind assemblage of toy robots, which noted designer Tom Geismar has been collecting for decades. Inspired by antique tin and wooden toys, samurai warriors and mid-20th century Japanese film characters, these intricately detailed and beautifully designed miniatures are set against Seattle's EMPSFM's backdrop of life-sized robots, androids and cyborgs from the world of science fiction film and television.

in the raw

2008-06-24T17:59:00.000-07:00

I love the smell of Trichinosis in the bedroom. Seriously, this thing has zero support and doesn't even come in an underwire.

"believe it or not, it's just me!"

2008-06-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

Gayest American Hero would be the obvious title for this ensemble. Looks like he's come from the gym. I can't even imagine what sorts of excercises he does to stay so totally ripped. Looks like he just got changed in a Goodwill restroom.

duct tales

2008-06-24T17:34:00.000-07:00

Well well well, where to begin? Unlike the "Duct Tape Bandit," this dude isn't actually commitin' a crime...except a fashion felony! I'm not sure why he needed to make this suit but he seems pleased with his work. One question, what if he has to use the potty?

4 wheels, 1 bottle

2008-06-24T17:18:00.001-07:00

An Australian man was arrested and charged with drunk driving...his wheelchair. On his way back home from boozing it up at a friend's house, this man was found slumped over in his wheelchair on an exit ramp with traffic swerving to get around him. Police clocked his blood alcohol level at 6 times the legal limit. In addition to him being handicapped, he's also handy at gettin' the cap off the bottle! (wow, that was a cheap joke)

one sharp-looking mobile

2008-06-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

A new addition to the Sadistic Nursery Collection. I could see this scissor-mobile going nicely with the Mad Max crib. Yikes. (see 'beyond the thunderdome')

'on the pot' robot

2008-06-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

Robotan toilet paper holder by Airyusha made from ceramic $39. Feeds out all kinds of toilet paper. All kinds. Airyusha was established in 1950 and continues to be a leader in making some of the most creative lifestyle products available.

alternative yawn in 3-D

2008-06-24T15:14:00.000-07:00

These wall tiles would make a sleepy addition to any bedroom as they pretty much make you yawn at first sight. About 4" square and they come complete with a creepy little nose ring. $32 each from SusanKniffinDavidson.

beyond the thunderdome

2008-06-24T14:44:00.000-07:00

WTF? This baby rocker looks more like a leftover prop from a Mad Max movie. Or maybe it's from the set of Waterworld and was used to gently lull Kevin Costner's ego into being humble. I just can't get passed the idea of a dangerously sharp blade mobile dangling above the baby's face.

gosh, these soaps are handy!

2008-06-19T16:25:00.001-07:00

Yeah, they're really soaps. Creepy little baby doll hand soaps. They're made out of glycerin and Goat's milk and are about 1/2"- 2" in size. I like that they are multiculturally pigmented... and cheap. I think hand soaps are usually overpriced just like soup, but these little buggers will run you around $20 for about 10 of them. The best part is that no matter where you put them they look creepy and out of place. Check the link for Vitamin D(esign) if you dig.

cross dressing junk food

2008-06-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

Look! It's Asian food trying not to be Asian food! The New Standard--is that a good thing or a bad thing? What does that even mean? This dish is for when you want to eat health food but still feel like you're eating junk.