in the raw

I love the smell of Trichinosis in the bedroom. Seriously, this thing has zero support and doesn't even come in an underwire.

"believe it or not, it's just me!"

Gayest American Hero would be the obvious title for this ensemble. Looks like he's come from the gym. I can't even imagine what sorts of excercises he does to stay so totally ripped. Looks like he just got changed in a Goodwill restroom.

duct tales

Well well well, where to begin? Unlike the "Duct Tape Bandit," this dude isn't actually commitin' a crime...except a fashion felony! I'm not sure why he needed to make this suit but he seems pleased with his work. One question, what if he has to use the potty?

4 wheels, 1 bottle

An Australian man was arrested and charged with drunk driving...his wheelchair. On his way back home from boozing it up at a friend's house, this man was found slumped over in his wheelchair on an exit ramp with traffic swerving to get around him. Police clocked his blood alcohol level at 6 times the legal limit. In addition to him being handicapped, he's also handy at gettin' the cap off the bottle! (wow, that was a cheap joke)

one sharp-looking mobile

A new addition to the Sadistic Nursery Collection. I could see this scissor-mobile going nicely with the Mad Max crib. Yikes. (see 'beyond the thunderdome')

'on the pot' robot

Robotan toilet paper holder by Airyusha made from ceramic $39. Feeds out all kinds of toilet paper. All kinds. Airyusha was established in 1950 and continues to be a leader in making some of the most creative lifestyle products available.

alternative yawn in 3-D

These wall tiles would make a sleepy addition to any bedroom as they pretty much make you yawn at first sight. About 4" square and they come complete with a creepy little nose ring. $32 each from SusanKniffinDavidson.

beyond the thunderdome

WTF? This baby rocker looks more like a leftover prop from a Mad Max movie. Or maybe it's from the set of Waterworld and was used to gently lull Kevin Costner's ego into being humble. I just can't get passed the idea of a dangerously sharp blade mobile dangling above the baby's face.

gosh, these soaps are handy!

Yeah, they're really soaps. Creepy little baby doll hand soaps. They're made out of glycerin and Goat's milk and are about 1/2"- 2" in size. I like that they are multiculturally pigmented... and cheap. I think hand soaps are usually overpriced just like soup, but these little buggers will run you around $20 for about 10 of them. The best part is that no matter where you put them they look creepy and out of place. Check the link for Vitamin D(esign) if you dig.

cross dressing junk food

Look! It's Asian food trying not to be Asian food! The New Standard--is that a good thing or a bad thing? What does that even mean? This dish is for when you want to eat health food but still feel like you're eating junk.

drunk in Kentucky

A 24 year old in Kentucky got the nickname "Duct Tape Bandit" when he decided to get wasted, cover his head in duct tape, and knock over a liquor store. When he (inevitably) was tackled out in the parking lot, cops found no weapons on him at all, and 2 rolls of coins scattered on the pavement. The till came up short $15 that evening.
Here is a precious video of the bandit retelling his view of what went down...from the slammer:

so a tree walks into a bank...

A nearly 50 year old man in Manchester, NH decided to rob a bank 'disguised' as a tree. He used duct tape to secure tree branches to his head and apparently that is where the costuming ended. Perhaps this particular bank has many patrons of the arbor variety. I know I've never seen a tree standing in line to cash a check or deposit funds at any bank before. ever. This bank's security team must be really proud of themselves since the dude made it home with bank money before getting nabbed by the cops. You gotta give this guy credit though, because (wait for it), he really went out on a limb to rob that bank!

soft drinks?

I gotta admit it, I'm always entertained by menu flubs. It seems that no matter what is misspelled, it makes the description far worse when it's on a restaurant menu. It's terrific fun to then knowingly order whatever is misspelled...exactly how it's printed. Usually the waitstaff will give you some indignant look as if you're the dumb one.

veenah aht

There is getting creative with food, and then there is getting creative with food. I especially love the way the menu description turns English halfway through. Although not technically a typo, I just think these guys didn't know how to translate their idea. Never underestimate breadcrumbers!

pickle surprise!

I have to wonder if they would be sweet or sour pickles.

beach sexing

So I'm trying to determine the 'sex of the beach' and although I initially think creamberry to be unisex, anything with peach schnapps in it is automatically gay. My final decision is that this beach is in an experimental phase and doesn't know what it wants.

specifically light meals

First off: Because it comes in a cup doesn't mean you should (try to) spell it that way

Secondly: I've never once had the singularly distinct urge for hot potatoes. The fact that it's one of the four main menu items baffles me.

Lastly: Rainbow dog-jobs atop a sugar cone with a hairnet on it. Now there's nothing general about that.

king of the entrees

See where being cowardly gets you?

freedom menu

Zut Alors! I believe I have a new catch phrase here: I like my chicken...Ass Hot!

old faithful

The menu flub Chairman of The Board: Crap Rangoon!

a whole new sport

As terrific of a typo as this is, I am only left with the query: outshit or outshat?

keep him away from the kids

..."and much more." Why is Margarita Man naked from the waist down?