Veni, Vidi, Vomito!

I usually joke with friends about The Olive Garden and make fun of their shiteous take on Italian food by saying "Why go to The Olive Garden and pay them to feed you microwaved pasta when you can do it for free at home?" Seriously, I'll even put it in an SAT equation for y'all:

The Olive Garden : authentic Italian cooking :: Super Mario Bros. : the everyday life of a plumber.

Well, the other day I was pleased to see proof that I am not alone in this culinary disgust I have for TOG. This was featured in the best free newspaper on the planet, The Stranger.

not so fascinating rhythms

I recently was at a party and noticed this book of sheet music on the piano. I immediately felt compelled to open up this bad boy and see what was so 'upbeat' about it. Here is what I found:

Cantina Band John Williams
Theme From New York, New York Fred Ebb, John Kander
Fame Dean Pitchford, Michael Gore
Talk To The Animals Leslie Bricusse
Once Upon A December Lynn Ahrens, Stephen Flaherty
Fascinating Rhythm George Gershwin, Ira Gershwin
Jetsons Main Theme Joseph Barbera, William Hanna,
Scooby Doo Background Music Joseph Barbera, William Hanna,

Uh...besides the last track, what does Scooby-Doo have to do with any of these? And I can just picture living in a house with someone who wants to keep playing the background music to Scooby-Doo as a soundtrack to everything you do like cleaning the gutters, scrubbing the toilet, watching the presidential inauguration, etc.



This sheet music is obviously in the same bizarrely out of touch family as the first one. What better choice to represent a book of "Modern Songs" than a cartoon character from 1948!

go ahead, laugh long and hard