Friday, May 15, 2009

the cult of snacking

I spend many a night watching t.v. and I have no shame about it. There are particular shows I have a moderate obsession with and would hate to miss. I will often curl up on the couch with a blanket if I am chilly, perhaps a snack if I have the munchies am feeling peckish. This has been the comfortable norm in my home for years and years...and then the Snuggie was invented.. and then my head exploded.

My friend tried to explain it carefully to me as if I were mentally challenged, "Instead of being limited to just a blanket for snuggling up, the Snuggie is like wearing a blanket for clothes!" I told her of my many adventures of using a blanket for a blanket and clothes for clothes, and then my eyes rolled so hard I almost fell over. She went on, "Also, it's a blanket that allows you to enjoy a snack!" After she finished this sentence, we just blinked back at each other for a couple seconds while we digested the stupidity of what was just said. I think I heard a dog bark somewhere off in the distance. She was right though. Being able to enjoy a snack is one of the couple of benefits to using a Snuggie. Seen here is a monk enjoying the Superbowl.

Call me old-fashioned, but I have always found that when I use a blanket for a blanket and clothes for clothes instead of a Snuggie, I can do plenty of other things besides enjoy a snack on the couch such as:

  • Enjoy a snack on a plane
  • Make a mad bolt to the bathroom if ferocious diarrhea is involved
  • Enjoy a movie at a theater without strangers and kids giving me the stinkeye
  • Get laid

I just think Snuggies are ugly. It's so amorphous looking as if to hide the couch potato look on purpose, they should have just called it a 'Shame Sack' or something elegant like that. They sort of remind me of pictures I've seen of people in cults or better yet...

Who knew Spock was a snuggler?

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