the "T" is for towel

The other day I was thinking my home lacked a certain...something. Now I know what it is; I don't own any towels with mod art prints of Mr. T! I am surely the fool to pity.

they keep rolling...and rolling...

At first I thought this was a picture of the well-known geriatric rock band The Rolling Stones, but upon closer inspection I realize I was way off. It's actually a candid photo of (L to R) some lesbian couple, the Count from Sesame Street, and Detective Lieutenant Columbo after a long night of club hopping.

high stakes table

Very often I have faithful subscribers send in stuff they wish I'd post here. In fact, it's difficult sometimes to meander through the hundreds of emails I receive and get to deciding on which ones to post! I couldn't pass this one up though. Thanks to Heather in Seattle for her contribution.

trigger happy

Cool vintagey-looking batman squirt gun. Bad design concept. With the trigger in his "bat zone" and the refiller plug up his....cape...I have to wonder if this toy was really designed for kids or for adults.

birth control

Why is there so much weird baby stuff in the world? Why? These are bouncy balls that cry like a baby when they hit something. I can't really imagine anyone putting up with this toy for more than a couple of bounces. A real baby crying is an aggravating enough sound naturally. Here's an idea: give these to teens for a week so they can decide if they are really ready to be parents. Around $4 from Baron Bob.

fungus among us

This is pretty much the strangest thing I've seen before in the world of knitting crafts. 7" long from Plush You a hand sewn finger with fungus growing under the nail. As you can see all too well, the nail peels back to reveal little fungus monsters--one of them is outfitted with a knitted cap! Adorable! I can just picture a little baby teething on one of these in church.

bored much?

Maybe disinterest is the new black? Paris Hilton looks downright bored to death to be photographed for this cover! Since when is boring sexy?

remember troll dolls?

Mary Kate Trollson can't even force a smile wearing her own designer dress! Maybe that's because it looks like it's made out of wax paper. I love that off to the right, the cover tells you "Don't Get High, Get Happy!"

no sudden movements

Somebody went and frightened the model and now she won't even turn around to be photographed!

pray for another cover

Not only is this cover unflattering, but it also looks nothing like Charlotte Church. Last time I fact-checked she was Welsh not Latino!

scary movie

The Shining was one of the scariest things I had ever seen...until I saw this magazine cover! Don't even think of messing with her sequins batsuit!

the party's off!

This pic looks more like she's already been partying...for a while. She looks like a Barbie doll with a hangover!

albatross

She has a look on her face that says, "I hope I don't honk up my lunch on this designer gown!"

the P word

One word comes to mind: PEEVED. She really looks peeved that her picture is being taken.

the pre-shoot

That's a serious scowl! It looks like the hair stylist never touched her! In fact, this looks like a picture of the model before the shoot started.

no flair

So, since I kept finding these horrid magazine covers all over the place (the internet), I felt compelled to blog an entire category about it. I can appreciate a serious face, but for the kind of money a woman gets paid for being on the cover of a magazine--they ought to at least look happy to be making serious $$. I don't think it's a matter of trend, but more likely the photog or makeup artist missed the mark. It's upsetting to look at a beautiful face who looks downright pissed to be wearing million dollar jewelry and famous duds. Most photo shoots will end up with hundreds of shots to choose from--you'd think they'd pick one that was actually flattering!

bag O' bones

Skeleton in a potato sack. Not letting the spray tanner hit her feet was a nice touch to the overall 'Death By Burlap' look. Did somebody just drop her off at a YMCA softball game at a park or something? Nothing says high fashion like being photographed on dead grass!

24 carrot gold

Ever wondered what you'd get if Bugs Bunny made it with The Mad Hatter? I bet in the hot summer heat this fugly frock just ends up smelling like cole slaw.