it costs extra to smile

bored much?

Maybe disinterest is the new black? Paris Hilton looks downright bored to death to be photographed for this cover! Since when is boring sexy?

remember troll dolls?

Mary Kate Trollson can't even force a smile wearing her own designer dress! Maybe that's because it looks like it's made out of wax paper. I love that off to the right, the cover tells you "Don't Get High, Get Happy!"

no sudden movements

Somebody went and frightened the model and now she won't even turn around to be photographed!

pray for another cover

Not only is this cover unflattering, but it also looks nothing like Charlotte Church. Last time I fact-checked she was Welsh not Latino!

scary movie

The Shining was one of the scariest things I had ever seen...until I saw this magazine cover! Don't even think of messing with her sequins batsuit!

the party's off!

This pic looks more like she's already been partying...for a while. She looks like a Barbie doll with a hangover!

albatross

She has a look on her face that says, "I hope I don't honk up my lunch on this designer gown!"

the P word

One word comes to mind: PEEVED. She really looks peeved that her picture is being taken.

the pre-shoot

That's a serious scowl! It looks like the hair stylist never touched her! In fact, this looks like a picture of the model before the shoot started.

no flair

So, since I kept finding these horrid magazine covers all over the place (the internet), I felt compelled to blog an entire category about it. I can appreciate a serious face, but for the kind of money a woman gets paid for being on the cover of a magazine--they ought to at least look happy to be making serious $$. I don't think it's a matter of trend, but more likely the photog or makeup artist missed the mark. It's upsetting to look at a beautiful face who looks downright pissed to be wearing million dollar jewelry and famous duds. Most photo shoots will end up with hundreds of shots to choose from--you'd think they'd pick one that was actually flattering!