spring break for the Gothopotomi

Once again spring break is here and, while most teens and young adults are on tropical vacations or shakin' their bootys at Mtv, what about the adolescent Gothopotomus crowd? Are they partaking in the hedonistic holiday the same as their more spunky lithe classmates? Are they working on their tans? I think not. After several attempts at interviewing my neighbor's son Scott "Charrlord" I finally lured him out with the promise of a McRib sandwich. Charrlord says that the sun "frightens the soul" and makes his bangs kink back up so he spends his break...wait for it..."in the basement" adding that sometimes his folks send him to spend spring break in his Uncle's basement.



Maria Salducci from Port Hueneme, Ca sent in this photo of her daughter Eve. "She's a very bright girl, she just won't stop wearing black is all," writes Maria.

She goes on to explain that her daughter usually spends her break at the local Mall shopping for things to pierce herself with. "At least she doesn't stay down in the basement all the damn time like some of her friends!"


Update: Things turned ugly real quick when Charrlord discovered that his promised McRib was just a ruse. I'm back home now and, although my arm still stings from the massive tetanus shot, the bite marks have almost totally healed.

adopt-a-threat

Janine from Greeley, Co sent in this photo attached to a letter in which she writes: "My husband and I thought that adopting a Gothopotomus from the local humane shelter was an admirable thing to do. Let me tell you our lives have never been the same! Larz was rescued from a life of gang violence which had hardened his soul. His temperament is an unpredictable mix of sloth-like lethargy and manic combativeness. It makes it hard to form a bond with him. We mostly try to keep him in the basement since he trashes the house every time we let him up. Lately he has taken to posting obscenely doctored photos on the Internet and has been seen around the neighborhood with the local Gothopotomus gang The Morbidly Obese. I have vowed to get a dog next time."

Secret Santa Can Suck It!

Over at Humor Bloggers there's a gift swap happenin' and my Secret Santa recipient is none other than http://debbiedoesdrivel.blogspot.com/. So, Debbie, what I've gotten you for Christmas this year is a Gothopotomus! This one is a late adolescent male so be tender with him.

Generally Gothopotomi like to hang around in a cold, dark basement--often alone, emerging only to feed. With the proper TLC they can mature into rather loving adults. I was recently on a trip to Crackistan where I visited the Cracknational Zoo and got a prime photo opportunity:

Here, as you can see, are a Gothopotomus adult couple. They are often satisfied sitting around on the cold, hard concrete smoking cloves. Contrary to popular belief, they can be a quite sociable species when surrounded by others like them. So Merry Christmas Debbie at http://debbiedoesdrivel.blogspot.com/! Put on some Cure, and enjoy your new pet!