joking around

It seems Halloween comes early for Mickey Rourke. The actor wore what he considers to be "The Joker" costume out clubbin' Thursday night. I guess his bro didn't get the memo.



He looks more like "The Coker." And what's up with the porn stash, and Miami Vice blazer? Somehow this is a costume that just works for him.

rolling back prices and standards

Top to bottom: The Muppet Hooker, Mr. Forgotmypants, The Walmart Pimp, and Roz from Monsters Inc.
Like I really needed another reason not to shop at Walmart. The next time you are bored and need a good laugh, visit the site that will not disappoint. peopleofwalmart.com

don't try this at home

A Plus-Size shout out to Broughty from Edmonds for this lil' nugget. It has inspired me to create a whole new category for video posts.

saving face

I thought I'd give you some much needed face time with one of my favorite celebrities. Anybody else remember a little movie called Diner? That was my favorite Rourke movie--back in the day when he actually looked handsome. For those of you who have not just eaten, please to enjoy this slideshow of horror.

robo-booty

There's gold in them thar warehouses! Recently in Japan a whole mess of robots that had been wrapped, stored, and forgotten about were finally exhumed. These robots were designed by Jiro Aizawa in the 1950's and 1960's. While some of these are still working or have working parts, those which are not working will most likely be restored. I'll be sure to keep you posted on new info that surfaces about these treasures.

dance machine

Rad t-shirt design by Cameron McEwan. Heart breaking irony. This is just one of many shirts and art prints you can find at Threadless which is an online store that's a whole lot more.

smells like teen spirit

Lorraine Peterson, I salute you! If I ever write a book, I only hope I can conjure up a name for it with the notoriously faithful charm that you are so gifted with. Your talent is spiritual gold. Pictured above is just one example from the most awesomely titled teen devotional book series ever. Other titles by this author include:

If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?

If The Devil "Made" You Do It...You Blew It! (But It Doesn't Need To Happen Again)

Radical Advice From The Ultimate Wiseguy

How To Get A Life...No Strings Attached

Lord, I Haven't Talked To You Since The Last Crisis, But...

Trying to Get Toothpaste Back into the Tube: Making Choices You Don't Have to Undo

Falling Off Cloud Nine and Other High Places

Dying of Embarrassment--& Living to Tell About It

If You Really Trust Me, Why Can't I Stay Out Later?

Why Isn't God Giving Cash Prizes?

God's An Artist And You're A Masterpiece: The Mind-boggling Science Of An Awesome Creator

sign language

I can't figure out what this is a sign for.
I feel like it's warning me about something...even though warning signs would usually be in yellow or red. Obviously the person is running, but why? Is that supposed to be a door, or a box? I think this is a sign warning you that you are about to run into a sign that leaves you feeling blank.

word up

Ever wish you could bust out some street lingo at the appropriate time but are a little too "Pottery Barn" to pull it off?



Slang Flashcards from KnockKnock use old-fashioned teaching techniques to bring you up to speed. $15 for 60 huge double-sided cards. Study alone or with a friend--then get a load of your bad self!



I recently gave these to a buddy of mine for his birthday and I am proud to report that after only a few weeks his mad skillz are off-the-hook.

earth lovin' robots

"Andybots" and "Saucerbots" are just some of the adorably eclectic creations by artist Andy Hill. And good news for all you Eco-friendly Robophiles out there who are trying to save the planet one reusable bag at a time--Andy uses a ton of recyclable materials in his sculptures!



Some of the sculptures even reuse CDs/DVDs.



You can see all of Andy Hill's designs and creations at Electro Art Works.

what's next for Mickey Rourke?

Mickey Rourke will be playing the part of The Joker in the next Batman movie. Just kidding.

schemin'

"Micro Schematic" by artist Jason Freeny. Illustrated diagram of LEGO minifig in wifebeater and thong.

getting down to specifics

I love yard sale season! 1/8 block?? I'm guessing I could probably spot the yard filled with junk collectibles an 1/8 of a block away. That's like 2 houses down, right?

is it a crime of fashion?

Sometimes ugly ideas lead to ugly crimes!

Thanks to Tex Spevjo from the Renton Riviera, you can click here to see what some halfwit did with a Snuggie.

the cult of snacking

I spend many a night watching t.v. and I have no shame about it. There are particular shows I have a moderate obsession with and would hate to miss. I will often curl up on the couch with a blanket if I am chilly, perhaps a snack if I have the munchies am feeling peckish. This has been the comfortable norm in my home for years and years...and then the Snuggie was invented.. and then my head exploded.

My friend tried to explain it carefully to me as if I were mentally challenged, "Instead of being limited to just a blanket for snuggling up, the Snuggie is like wearing a blanket for clothes!" I told her of my many adventures of using a blanket for a blanket and clothes for clothes, and then my eyes rolled so hard I almost fell over. She went on, "Also, it's a blanket that allows you to enjoy a snack!" After she finished this sentence, we just blinked back at each other for a couple seconds while we digested the stupidity of what was just said. I think I heard a dog bark somewhere off in the distance. She was right though. Being able to enjoy a snack is one of the couple of benefits to using a Snuggie. Seen here is a monk enjoying the Superbowl.

Call me old-fashioned, but I have always found that when I use a blanket for a blanket and clothes for clothes instead of a Snuggie, I can do plenty of other things besides enjoy a snack on the couch such as:

• Enjoy a snack on a plane
• Make a mad bolt to the bathroom if ferocious diarrhea is involved
• Enjoy a movie at a theater without strangers and kids giving me the stinkeye
• Get laid
  

I just think Snuggies are ugly. It's so amorphous looking as if to hide the couch potato look on purpose, they should have just called it a 'Shame Sack' or something elegant like that. They sort of remind me of pictures I've seen of people in cults or better yet...

Who knew Spock was a snuggler?

everything must go

For those of you who need a little more drama with your rummaging, it looks like the housewives of Wisteria Lane are having a garage sale!

happy easter

ENJOY THE PEEP SHOW!

spring break for the Gothopotomi

Once again spring break is here and, while most teens and young adults are on tropical vacations or shakin' their bootys at Mtv, what about the adolescent Gothopotomus crowd? Are they partaking in the hedonistic holiday the same as their more spunky lithe classmates? Are they working on their tans? I think not. After several attempts at interviewing my neighbor's son Scott "Charrlord" I finally lured him out with the promise of a McRib sandwich. Charrlord says that the sun "frightens the soul" and makes his bangs kink back up so he spends his break...wait for it..."in the basement" adding that sometimes his folks send him to spend spring break in his Uncle's basement.



Maria Salducci from Port Hueneme, Ca sent in this photo of her daughter Eve. "She's a very bright girl, she just won't stop wearing black is all," writes Maria.

She goes on to explain that her daughter usually spends her break at the local Mall shopping for things to pierce herself with. "At least she doesn't stay down in the basement all the damn time like some of her friends!"


Update: Things turned ugly real quick when Charrlord discovered that his promised McRib was just a ruse. I'm back home now and, although my arm still stings from the massive tetanus shot, the bite marks have almost totally healed.

stress relief

Just in case you are having a rough day,
here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest
psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your
belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling
in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air
with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily
make out the face of the person you are holding
underwater.

raining cats and blogs

This is what I imagine other people imagine cats in Seattle look like.

what time is it?

1. A time or selected period during which a defecation occurs.

2. To "go poopy-time" is to have a poopy-time.

"I need to go poopy-time "

"That was a good poopy-time "

And if that wasn't gross enough, there's always the competitor:

meet 'The Tailor'

In all it's engrish splendor, the horror has gone global


PLEASE TO CLICK HERE!

freezer burn

Ben & Jerry's just created "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for President Obama.
They then asked people to fill in the blank: For George W. they created "_________".
Here are some of their favorite responses:
Grape Depression
Cluster Fudge
Nut'n Accomplished
Iraqi Road
WireTapioca
Impeach Cobbler
imPeachmint
Good Riddance You Lousy Mthrf..k..r... Swirl
Neocon Politan
RockyRoad to Fascism
The Reese's-cession
Cookie D'oh!
The Housing Crunch
Death by Chocolate... and Torture
Chunky Monkey in Chief
George Bush Doesn't Care About Dark Chocolate
Caramel Preemptive Stripe
I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands...with nuts

Veni, Vidi, Vomito!

I usually joke with friends about The Olive Garden and make fun of their shiteous take on Italian food by saying "Why go to The Olive Garden and pay them to feed you microwaved pasta when you can do it for free at home?" Seriously, I'll even put it in an SAT equation for y'all:

The Olive Garden : authentic Italian cooking :: Super Mario Bros. : the everyday life of a plumber.

Well, the other day I was pleased to see proof that I am not alone in this culinary disgust I have for TOG. This was featured in the best free newspaper on the planet, The Stranger.

not so fascinating rhythms

I recently was at a party and noticed this book of sheet music on the piano. I immediately felt compelled to open up this bad boy and see what was so 'upbeat' about it. Here is what I found:

Cantina Band John Williams
Theme From New York, New York Fred Ebb, John Kander
Fame Dean Pitchford, Michael Gore
Talk To The Animals Leslie Bricusse
Once Upon A December Lynn Ahrens, Stephen Flaherty
Fascinating Rhythm George Gershwin, Ira Gershwin
Jetsons Main Theme Joseph Barbera, William Hanna,
Scooby Doo Background Music Joseph Barbera, William Hanna,

Uh...besides the last track, what does Scooby-Doo have to do with any of these? And I can just picture living in a house with someone who wants to keep playing the background music to Scooby-Doo as a soundtrack to everything you do like cleaning the gutters, scrubbing the toilet, watching the presidential inauguration, etc.



This sheet music is obviously in the same bizarrely out of touch family as the first one. What better choice to represent a book of "Modern Songs" than a cartoon character from 1948!

go ahead, laugh long and hard

never never again land

Let me just start by saying, from the neck up--gorgeous. However, from the neck down I can't quite figure out if Madge is wearing a Peter Pan costume or an Oscar The Grouch pelt.

or what?

How does one harass the jellyfish anyhow??

gone to the dogs

Mickey Rourke's career is going nuts!

adopt-a-threat

Janine from Greeley, Co sent in this photo attached to a letter in which she writes: "My husband and I thought that adopting a Gothopotomus from the local humane shelter was an admirable thing to do. Let me tell you our lives have never been the same! Larz was rescued from a life of gang violence which had hardened his soul. His temperament is an unpredictable mix of sloth-like lethargy and manic combativeness. It makes it hard to form a bond with him. We mostly try to keep him in the basement since he trashes the house every time we let him up. Lately he has taken to posting obscenely doctored photos on the Internet and has been seen around the neighborhood with the local Gothopotomus gang The Morbidly Obese. I have vowed to get a dog next time."

sweater from hell

So Satan sent me a letter the other day and this photo was attached. Seen here is Satan's cat "Andie" being coddled by it's nanny on a recent peyote-fueled spirit walk in Taos, New Mexico. Apparently this new-agey positive energy sweater is the latest in Bad Cat Fashion. With the drawstring bottom it's basically a sack with a hood, which ensures that your kitty won't run off when it begins hallucinating.

8-bit mural

For the video game nerds who decide to start families, Blik and Nintendo offer a wall graphics pack with familiar scenes for the modern kid's room. $75 for 36 reusable wall decals. And, yes, it comes in Donkey Kong too.

Jimmy Wales is psychic!

Wanna see something really ridiculous?

Then click on this

I mean, honestly, who would need to google this......besides me...and the robots?